


Hold My Heart In Your Hands

by oiivkawa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming of Age, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Slight pining, Time Progression, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all the “angst” is really quickly skimmed so we can bask in fluff, really just a collection of soft iwaoi moments from middle school to high school, this isn’t sad I swear!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 02:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13090647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oiivkawa/pseuds/oiivkawa
Summary: “Just because you’re on the opposite side of the country doesn’t mean that I’m leaving you,” he re-iterated.Oikawa felt the warmth of Iwaizumi’s breath fan out across his cheeks when he spoke. Maybe it was the words, or maybe it was just Iwaizumi himself, but he relaxed slightly, tension dissipating from his shoulders. He slid his hands down the length of Iwaizumi's torso, gripping his waist tightly on either side instead.“But I’m the one leaving you, not the other way around, remember?” Oikawa smiled, biting his bottom lip cheekily.“You’re such a shit,” Iwaizumi said, but the harshness of his words was masked by the smile on his face. “I bet you won’t even miss me with all that attention you’ll get from the new girls at your school,” he added.“That’s not true,” Oikawa shook his head in denial. “You know the only person I care about is Iwa-chan.”Iwaizumi watched him silently for a few moments before he slid his hands around Oikawa's head, interlocking his fingers behind Oikawa's neck. “Don’t say things you don’t mean,” he said quietly, pulling their faces closer together until it wasn’t only their foreheads touching, but their noses too.





	Hold My Heart In Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evercelle (amagnetism)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amagnetism/gifts).



> this fic is dedicated to ever, who is an inspiration for all the fluffy iwaoi. this fic found its inspiration in ever's [iwaoi holiday postcard](http://evercelle.tumblr.com/post/167722138950/its-not-past-thanksgiving-yet-but-i-dont-care), which i strongly suggest you take a look at/like/reblog! if you haven't checked out the rest of her art yet, please do so on tumblr [@evercelle](http://evercelle.tumblr.com/), i guarantee you won't be disappointed! thank you for providing us the sweetest iwaoi we could ask for *_* you’re such a kind person and your art is to die for; i am honoured to have been able to write something for you ♡
> 
> i've never written ldr iwaoi before, but lol this is v mild so i hope it's still ok!

“Iwa-chan, you won’t leave me, right?” Oikawa asked, eyes wide and hopeful, a smile somewhere between sincere and wobbly trying to remain still on his face. 

He fiddled with the hem of his white school shirt; the summer uniform should have been enough to keep him from sweating, especially considering it was only April and the warm weather hadn’t had the time to fully hit them yet, but his palms were slick, and a flush was creeping up the back of his neck.

“What are you talking about? We’re just in different classes, I’m not leaving you,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, nudging Oikawa's shoulder with his own lightly, the silent words of _‘stop worrying’_ and _‘I’m right here’_ conveyed by the action.

They continued to walk down the hallway, having been dismissed from the welcome assembly only moments earlier. The sound of students, seventh, eighth, and ninth-graders alike, talking loudly with their friends about what clubs they wanted to join, or what cute girls and boys they had their eyes on around them served as background noise, for in that moment, the only person Oikawa cared about paying attention to was Iwaizumi.

It was their first day of junior high at Kitagawa Daiichi, and Oikawa had been upset to find out that he and Iwaizumi were not in the same class, after years of following that tradition. But Kitagawa Daiichi was bigger than their elementary school was, and he knew that one day, they might have to separate. Still, Oikawa hadn’t expected that day to be _today_ , and he would have been lying if he said he wasn’t put out by it.

“We can still have lunch together, and we’re both joining the volleyball team so I’ll see you after school,” Iwaizumi reminded helpfully. “Plus we live on the same street. There’s no way I could leave you even if I wanted,” he reminded with a chuckle.

Oikawa couldn’t help the pout that escaped him and Iwaizumi couldn’t help the crinkle between his eyebrows, concern etched into his face at Oikawa's hesitancy.

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded when Oikawa didn’t grace him with a reply.

“I don’t know,” Oikawa shrugged, biting his lower lip. “What if people don’t like me? What if I can’t make any friends? Iwa-chan was always the popular one in elementary school. Everyone only talked to me because of _you_ ,” he accused, not unkindly. 

It was the truth, and Oikawa wasn’t afraid to admit as much. Iwaizumi was the boy that all the other boys wanted to be friends with, and the kind that girls ran screaming from because of his love for bugs. But at that age, it just made the other boys in the class want to befriend him more, and they _tried_ , they really did, but somehow, Iwaizumi always ended up being pulled back into Oikawa's orbit.

Now that Oikawa wasn’t going to be around to constantly hog his attention, he was worried his best friend would realize how many other – _better_ – people there were that he could become close friends with. And maybe he’d find a new best friend amongst them too.

“That’s not true,” Iwaizumi said immediately, voice firm and unyielding. “Don’t say stupid things like that. If people want to be friends with me and not you, then they’re shit out of luck because it’s not happening,” he said determinedly.

“Iwa-chan! What would obachan say if she heard you speak like that?” Oikawa scolded lightly.

But he was smiling, eyes pulled up into delighted half-moons at Iwaizumi's loyalty. He didn’t know why he had ever doubted Iwaizumi's friendship for even a second, but with a few words alone, his best friend had reminded him that he was _there_ , that he _wasn’t_ leaving, and that _no one_ could replace Oikawa in his life.

“Yeah, and who’s gonna tell?” Iwaizumi shot back, giving Oikawa a pointed look.

Oikawa chuckled in response, purposely walking into Iwaizumi, nudging him with his shoulder in that familiar way to show his gratitude where words alone weren’t going to be enough.

“I’ll see you at lunchtime, okay?” Iwaizumi repeated when they stopped walking, the doors to their separate classrooms on either side of the stretch of wall they were idling in front of. “And the volleyball club sign-ups are happening at 3 pm in gym C. I have cleaning duty today so I’ll be late,” he added, covering his bases in case Oikawa worried that Iwaizumi had ditched him.

“Okay,” Oikawa nodded, storing all the information Iwaizumi had repeated neatly into a corner of his brain dedicated just for his best friend. “I’ll wait for you,” he promised.

Iwaizumi shook his head. “I don’t want you to be late,” he insisted.

“I’ll wait for you,” Oikawa repeated, a little more firmly, eyes bright and full of determination – the kind of look Iwaizumi had always been weak to.

The warning bell sounded, breaking them out of their impromptu staring match. “Try and make friends,” Iwaizumi whispered quietly.

“Don’t make too many,” Oikawa smiled back, giving Iwaizumi a quick wave before he turned into his own classroom, afraid that if he stayed outside for too long he would do something stupid like demand he be able to switch classes.

Iwaizumi was right, after all: it didn’t matter if they were in the same class or a different one. That didn’t change the fact that they would still see each other, have lunch together, hang out after school together, and play volleyball together.

Most importantly though, it certainly didn’t change the fact that they were and always would be best friends.

* * *

Three years of junior high passed by in the blink of an eye. When he first started, Oikawa was nervous about everything, from raising his hand to answer a question for the first time, to introducing himself and his goals at the first volleyball club practice.

But he quickly got used to the rhythmic change of junior high. Compared to elementary school, it was very different but he liked the responsibility that came with the freedom, and he liked the atmosphere that the school had built for them to mature in.

By the end of his third year, he had grown to be the starting setter and captain of the volleyball team. He was popular amongst his peers for his contribution to the sport, he was popular with the teachers for being an overall good student and not developing into a troublemaker, and after a sudden growth spurt and slight deepening of his voice, he had become especially popular with the girls.

The last one was the biggest change of them all, because while his friends all complained how he was _so lucky_ that all the girls wanted to have lunch with him, or invite him to their birthday parties, Oikawa only saw them as _friends_ , nothing more.

Besides, they were kind of boring, even if they _were_ sweet. If he was being honest, he would much rather take his lunches with Iwaizumi and spend his weekends practicing volleyball with him too, or maybe dragging his best friend into another movie marathon where he could be loud and not have to worry about what he said.

Oikawa knew that he had changed; he had become more confident and independent, but Iwaizumi had changed too. For Oikawa, Iwaizumi had always been the most dependable and loyal person he knew, but everyone else had started to see that too.

Despite the fact that Oikawa was the captain of the volleyball team, Iwaizumi had earned the reputation of ‘best senpai,’ which Oikawa certainly didn’t mind because _he_ knew Iwaizumi could be sweet outside the rough exterior, and it was about time everyone else saw him for all his redeeming qualities too.

Junior high had become one of Oikawa's most cherished memories, and it was all because he had Iwaizumi with him. Without his best friend, Oikawa wasn’t sure how his experience would have turned out. Throughout the three years, he often reminded himself that he had nothing to worry about though.

Whenever the doubts ate at him, he recalled that conversation they had on their very first day at Kitagawa Daiichi – how sure Iwaizumi had been that they’d be together even if they weren’t _together_ , which was the only thing that gave Oikawa _hope_ when his parents informed him that they would be moving at the end of the school year, and that Oikawa's plans to attend the same high school as Iwaizumi would be shattered.

It wasn’t their fault, he _knew_ that adulthood came with making difficult life decisions, but that didn’t mean that he was happy about it. He thought that they would realize how stupid it was to move to Hokkaido, how ridiculous it was to make Oikawa restart his life in a city he didn’t even like, how _unfair_ it was to make him leave his best friend.

But his parents didn’t budge no matter how many times he threatened to run away, and by the time their last volleyball game of the season came around, Oikawa still hadn’t told Iwaizumi the news.

“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi called out, voice echoing around the empty locker room.

They had just finished participating in their last tournament of the season, Kitagawa Daiichi having come in second, only to Shiratorizawa, yet again. On any other occasion, Oikawa would have been angry about it but he _had_ won the best setter award, and he had more pressing matters occupying his mind, like how he was supposed to apologize to Iwaizumi for making their last volleyball match together a loss.

“I’m coming!” Oikawa called out, panic seeping in at the thought of Iwaizumi seeing him, eyes red, face full of snot, mouth incredibly dry from all those deep breaths he had taken to calm himself down.

The tears from the bittersweet victory and loss combined with the inevitable future hadn’t stopped since the ceremony. During it, his tears had been accepted; hell, Iwaizumi had cried too. But afterwards, when everyone else had calmed down and he was still thinking about how he was going to have to move, Oikawa knew he needed a place to be alone.

He had carefully avoided changing in the team locker room with his teammates, hiding out in the bathroom until he knew the coast was clear before he returned to the locker room to change. Iwaizumi had miraculously not coming looking for him, but Oikawa should have known he was taking too long now and that his best friend would find him eventually.

“What are you doing?” Iwaizumi asked, face popping out from around the corner. “The bus is going to leave soon and Coach asked me to come get you,” he said slowly, keeping a good distance from Oikawa.

He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his sweats, eyes looking anywhere but at Oikawa in an attempt to make him feel like Iwaizumi didn’t know that he had been crying, even though it was obvious.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said slowly, voice wobbling with the weight of his words.

“I know,” Iwaizumi responded quietly, _surely_.

Oikawa didn’t even need to ask him _what_ he knew. The way Iwaizumi's face had hardened, the way he was trying to keep a steady tone even though Oikawa _knew_ he was upset was enough for Oikawa to know. But the fact that he had made Iwaizumi angry added to a whole new list of problems he wasn’t sure he could take on.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi said, breaking Oikawa out of his thoughts. He pushed himself off the locker he had been leaning his right shoulder against and walked forward, swinging both legs around the bench Oikawa was sitting at before turning Oikawa's body to face his. “I’m not mad at you,” he soothed Oikawa's worries knowingly.

“But you’re mad,” Oikawa said, intonation clipped up in a question rather than a statement.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi agreed. He reached for Oikawa's hands, taking the best setter award out of his grip and placing it neatly on Oikawa's other side before wrapping his fingers around Oikawa's own.

“At me?” Oikawa asked, even though the gentle way Iwaizumi was holding him said anything, but.

“No,” Iwaizumi confirmed again, placating Oikawa if only a little. “I’ve known for months now,” he said conversationally. “Did you really think your mum wasn’t going to tell mine about it? At first I didn’t believe her, but when you started acting weird, asking if we could spend _more time_ than we already do with one another, I knew it was true. I’m not mad at _you_ , I swear, I’m just mad about life,” he said quietly.

“It’s not fair!” Oikawa wailed, lips quivering despite his attempts to calm himself. “I’ll run away. I’ll come live with you,” he bargained. “Obachan likes me, right? She’ll say it’s okay for me to live with you, right?” he asked, hanging on to the last bit of unlikely hope.

“You can’t do that,” Iwaizumi shook his head slightly, giving Oikawa's hands a light squeeze. “Your parents would miss you too much,” he added before Oikawa could change tactics and revert his sadness into anger at _him_.

“But I’ll miss _you_ ,” Oikawa shot back, nose turned up in defiance.

“I’ll miss you too, Tooru,” Iwaizumi repeated.

Despite the fact that Iwaizumi hadn’t said anything to Oikawa about him moving away until today, Oikawa knew that it wasn’t because Iwaizumi didn’t care; but rather because he cared _too much_.

Oikawa could see the sadness in his eyes, how they had turned a warm hazel in the fluorescent lighting of the locker room, how the swell of his Adam’s apple bobbed impatiently with every swallow, how his palms had began to sweat and how he was smiling encouragingly at Oikawa, but the usual confidence wasn’t there. Oikawa had always thought he was the one who was stubbornly holding on to their friendship, but Iwaizumi's presence gave Oikawa reassurance that their friendship always had been and always would be a two-way reciprocation.

“I don’t want to go,” Oikawa mumbled sadly. “I wanted to play volleyball with you, beat Shiratorizawa _with you_.”

“I know,” Iwaizumi agreed, using Oikawa's hands as leverage to slide forward on the bench. He lifted them up, coaxing Oikawa into placing them on his shoulders before he cupped Oikawa's jaw in his own hands, fingers slipping into his hair as he pressed their foreheads together.

The proximity only made Oikawa's lips tremble more because where else was he supposed to find someone as caring and passionate as Iwaizumi? How was he supposed to live a twelve-hour train ride away from his best friend, his rock, his _pillar_? No one knew him as well as Iwaizumi did – no one could calm him down, make him see reason, make him as _happy_ as Iwaizumi did.

“This doesn’t mean we won’t still be friends. Remember what I told you on our first day here? That I wasn’t leaving. Just because you’re on the opposite side of the country _doesn’t mean_ that I’m leaving you,” he re-iterated.

Oikawa felt the warmth of Iwaizumi’s breath fan out across his cheeks when he spoke. Maybe it was the words, or maybe it was just Iwaizumi himself, but he relaxed slightly, tension dissipating from his shoulders. He slid his hands down the length of Iwaizumi's torso, gripping his waist tightly on either side instead.

“But I’m the one leaving you, not the other way around, remember?” Oikawa smiled, biting his bottom lip cheekily.

“You’re such a shit,” Iwaizumi said, but the harshness of his words was masked by the smile on his face. “I bet you won’t even miss me with all that attention you’ll get from the new girls at your school,” he added.

“That’s not true,” Oikawa shook his head in denial. “You know the only person I care about is Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi watched him silently for a few moments before he slid his hands around Oikawa's head, interlocking his fingers behind Oikawa's neck. “Don’t say things you don’t mean,” he said quietly, pulling their faces closer together until it wasn’t only their foreheads touching, but their noses too.

Oikawa didn’t fight him on the statement. He _didn’t_ care about anyone but Iwaizumi, but when he knew he was inevitably going to move away, there was no point in insisting that Iwaizumi was wrong. Besides, he had a feeling that Iwaizumi knew how he truly felt, and the denial was a front on both sides to make the separation that much easier.

* * *

The day Oikawa was supposed to move, Iwaizumi arrived at his house first thing in the morning with milk bread in one hand and a poorly wrapped gift in that alien wrapping paper Oikawa had made Iwaizumi buy a few years ago in the other hand. Iwaizumi insisted that he didn’t open gift until _after_ he arrived in Hokkaido.

As much as Oikawa wanted to protest, he agreed, eyes wet with unshed tears. They didn’t exchange many words, standing outside, as Oikawa's parents and the movers emptied the house of all the boxes. When it was finally time for him to go, he hugged Iwaizumi tightly, whispering a, “Beat Shiratorizawa for me, okay?” before he turned his face and walked towards the car, not looking up until they had turned out of their neighbourhood.

The drive was long, made even longer by the anticipation of opening Iwaizumi's gift. Oikawa hadn’t gotten him anything, but he was already looking forward to the prospect of sending something back. He knew that Iwaizumi had insisted that they’d remain friends despite the distance, but it was easier for Oikawa to believe that would be true when he had a _reason_ to communicate with Iwaizumi.

Without the bond of school and volleyball to hold them together, Oikawa wasn’t all that certain on what they could possibly talk about.

He was already feeling emotional by the time they reached their new house, emotions running higher with the end of the day wearing down on him. But when Oikawa dragged a few of his boxes up to his room, sat on the new bed and opened Iwaizumi's gift, he couldn’t help but burst into tears.

Iwaizumi had given him a pair of bear-shaped earmuffs, with a note that said, _‘It’s cold in Hokkaido’_ attached. It was short, but the hidden meaning behind the words had Oikawa tearing up, anyway. Iwaizumi had always been the one to remind him to button up his coat, to wear a hat, to dry his hair properly before leaving the house on cold days. It was like the earmuffs were Iwaizumi's way of telling him to take care of himself where Iwaizumi was not able.

[subject: (no subject)]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > I just got to Hokkaido. Thanks for the gift, Iwa-chan *_*_  
_> > I’ll remember to use it ! _

[subject: (no subject)]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > I’m glad u like it _  
_> > Goodnight, Tooru _ 

[subject: (no subject)]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > Night, Hajime (*^_ _▽_ _^*)_  

As touched as he was by Iwaizumi's sincerity, it didn’t make him any happier about leaving his best friend. That night, Oikawa didn’t sleep at all; he couldn’t, with the earmuffs clutched tightly in his hands and his heart heavy with regret.

* * *

Just like his three years of junior high had passed by quickly, high school was much the same. Despite Oikawa's worries about being so far away from Iwaizumi and the rest of his friends, he didn’t have trouble making new ones at his school in Bihoro. They weren’t _Iwaizumi_ , but they were nice, funny, sporty individuals who made him laugh. He enjoyed hanging out with them, but he couldn’t help but think about Iwaizumi every time they went out to eat, or saw a new movie, or even when they went to festivals as a group.

That didn’t mean that he didn’t talk to Iwaizumi, but rather their constant conversations assured that his best friend was always on Oikawa's mind.

They saw each other three times a year: once during the winter holidays, once during the summer, and once before the start of each new school year. Most of the time, Oikawa was the one that made his way down to Miyagi because he missed the rest of his friends, Iwaizumi's parents, and even his sister and nephew, who still lived there. Every once in a while though, Iwaizumi made the trek up to Hokkaido and this year for the winter holidays, he was doing just that.

There was less than a day to go before Iwaizumi would arrive, and Oikawa had been practically _bouncing_ on the balls of his feet for the past two weeks.

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > I’m so excited for tomorrow !!! (_ _☆_ _▽_ _☆_ _)_

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > Me too _

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > You’re so unenthusiastic about everything omg !_  
_> > Didn’t you miss me ? (´;_ _︵_ _;`)_

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > Ofc I missed u. I’m just in class, like ur supposed to be _

Oikawa could practically feel Iwaizumi's disapproval over the message. He bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing aloud, eyes darting up to see if his teacher had caught him with his phone out. When he noticed that she was still reading a passage from a book, he turned his attention back to his messages, heart swelling at the sight of Iwaizumi admitting that he missed Oikawa.

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > Dw sensei isn’t looking at me_  
_> > Plus, it’s just English class it’s fine_

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > U suck at English, pay attention dammit!_

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > OK (_ _｡_ _•́_ _︿_ _•̀_ _｡_ _)_  
_> > bye-bye Iwa-chan ! _

[subject: Iwa-chan’s coming to visit]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > I’ll see u tomorrow morning _♡

Oikawa was practically oozing cheer by the time class ended, despite the fact that he hadn’t paid even the least bit of attention. When the bell for the end of the day sounded, he quickly made his way to his locker, exchanging his school shoes for his outdoor ones as fast as he could.

Usually, he had volleyball practice after school, but since it was the last day before the holidays started, practice was cancelled, and Oikawa couldn’t really find it in himself to want to stay behind of his own will. Not when he could get home and make sure everything was _perfect_ for when Iwaizumi arrived tomorrow morning.

“Yo, Oikawa, what’s the rush? Mattsun and I are gonna head to the arcade, wanna come?” Hanamaki asked, propping an arm across Oikawa's locker, blocking his path to the front entrance.

“No thanks,” he said quickly. “Iwa-chan’s coming tomorrow, so I have to clean my room,” he nodded solemnly in explanation.

Hanamaki snorted. “You cleaned your room _yesterday_ ,” he reminded. “And the day before that _and_ the day before that. Relax, why are you so high strung whenever Iwaizumi's around? He’s a chill dude,” Hanamaki placated.

He and Matsukawa, who had just appeared to stand next to Hanamaki, had met Iwaizumi the summer of their first year of high school. Iwaizumi had insisted he come up to see Oikawa that year because he wanted to give Oikawa his birthday gift in _person_. It had been tickets to the Star Wars exhibit that was open during the summer break in Bihoro, which Iwaizumi had assumed Oikawa wanted to visit _with_ him. He had, so it was worth the wait to get his gift, plus seeing his best friend was always nice too.

“Come on, Makki, that’s not fair,” Matsukawa turned to Hanamaki. “I’d be pretty nervous if I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in four months too,” he teased.

Oikawa's mouth dropped open. “He’s not my _boyfriend_ ,” he defended. “Best friend, just… _best friend_ ,” he reiterated.

“Okay, well, Mattsun’s my best friend – no offence – but he doesn’t send me hearts at the end of messages,” Hanamaki raised his eyebrows accusingly.

“Stop going through my phone,” Oikawa huffed, lips pulled up in a pout. “So what, we’ve been friends for a long time. He’s just comfortable in expressing his love.”

Hanamaki rolled his eyes. “Can you even hear what you’re saying? _Expressing his love_? Dude, he’s practically your boyfriend,” he insisted.

“He is not,” Oikawa denied.

“He sent you a video of him thrashing some of his classmates in an arm wrestling competition,” Matsukawa deadpanned, expression as stoic as ever.

“So?” Oikawa asked, flushed face betraying his nonchalance.

That _had_ been a particularly good video, and the night that Iwaizumi had sent it, Oikawa found himself thanking god that Iwaizumi had decided to start working on his arms.

“ _So_ , he was definitely showing off,” Hanamaki supplied. “I saw you two holding hands during the Tanabata festival in the summer,” he added unsubtly.

“We always hold hands,” Oikawa shot back, adjusting the strap of his school bag over his shoulder. He checked that he hadn’t left anything important in his locker before shutting it, looking between Hanamaki and Matsukawa for them to move so he could get home.

“ _Seriously_?” Hanamaki gaped.

Oikawa didn’t grace him with a reply – only fixed the red scarf around his neck to wrap it more securely, and pulled his earmuffs up, effectively blocking out some of Hanamaki’s loud volume.

“Leave it,” Matsukawa sighed. “He’s in denial,” he rolled his eyes dramatically, moving aside to let Oikawa through.

Oikawa grinned victoriously, patting their shoulders on his way out. “You should drop by when Iwa-chan’s over, I’m sure he’ll want to see you again. We’ll do something together for New Year’s!” he suggested, waving goodbye before either of them could turn down the offer.

Iwaizumi had liked Matsukawa and Hanamaki the first time he met the two of them, and over the years, their friendship had grown too. They had a mildly well used group chat amongst the four of them, which made Oikawa happier than it probably should have, but Iwaizumi _liked his friends_ , which was important to him.

Despite having messaged Iwaizumi only a few hours ago, he couldn’t help that he took out his phone to tell him about his day and possible upcoming plans for them with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. He could have waited until tomorrow when he saw Iwaizumi in person, but the excitement of seeing his best friend face to face again after four months left him in an untameable, jittery mood.

He couldn’t contain that excitement all night, which was typical behaviour for whenever the time he could see Iwaizumi again came around.

By the time his alarm rang at 5 am the next morning, what should have been a restless night that led to sleep deprivation had Oikawa bouncing out of bed faster than on any school day. He brushed his teeth, fixed his hair, and changed in record time, beating both his parents down to the kitchen for breakfast. 

“Tooru, honey, slow down. The train isn’t going to get here any faster just because you’re at the train station early,” his mother said gently, rubbing his shoulder affectionately.

“I know, but I’m just happy,” he smiled sincerely, taking the omelette she had laid out for him to the table.

“Of course,” she agreed.

His parents, while they had forced him to move half way across the country, had always felt guilty about it. They knew how much Oikawa had been looking forward to attending high school with all of his friends, especially Iwaizumi. They knew that the boys had been practically inseparable since pre-school, and although the job offer Oikawa's father had received was too good of an opportunity to decline, that didn’t mean his parents were unsympathetic to how he felt. Which was why whenever he was meeting up with Iwaizumi again, they did their best to make sure the vacation went over smoothly.

“I was thinking,” his father said, eyes twinkling in the way he got whenever he was about to say something his wife would disapprove of. It had Oikawa on the edge of his seat because that usually meant he was going to say something Oikawa would _love_. “You’re eighteen now, how about you pick up Hajime-kun by yourself?” he offered.

Oikawa dropped the chopsticks in his hand against the plate with a clatter. “Really?” he asked hopefully, turning to his mother for permission because him and his dad were only the idea-men in the house; the real iron-fist wielder was his mother. To his surprise, her pursed lips twitched up in a smile.

“As long as you’re careful. The roads are slippery since it snowed last night,” she warned.

Oikawa was already up and out of his seat before she could finish her cautionary word of advice. He hugged her tightly, moving to hug his father too, breakfast half-eaten but completely forgotten on the side.

“Thank you, I’ll be home safe with Iwa-chan, promise!” he smiled, shoving the rest of his omelette in his mouth quickly.

He swallowed it down with some difficulty while he tried to put on his boots, coat, scarf, gloves, and of course the earmuffs that he wore diligently ever since Iwaizumi had given them to him almost three years ago. Hanamaki had asked him about them once, but after Oikawa told him they were a gift from Iwaizumi, he hadn’t questioned it again… but not before commenting that _‘Of course they’re special, they’re from his boyfriend.’_

As much as Hanamaki and Matsukawa liked to tease Oikawa about Iwaizumi being his boyfriend, they didn’t do it to be mean. And the only reason Oikawa denied the accusation was because he wasn’t really sure _how_ Iwaizumi felt about him. The topic of dating had of course come up, and whenever either of them got a confession they not so subtly mentioned it; those conversations were always awkward because Iwaizumi would ask Oikawa whether he was going to accept it and Oikawa would tease Iwaizumi about how these moments were probably rare for him.

In the end, neither of them ever actually accepted.

Oikawa knew why _he_ didn’t, and as much as he liked to assume – _hope_ – Iwaizumi's motives matched his, he wasn’t sure. He could never _be_ sure around Iwaizumi because his affections had never changed throughout all the years that they had been friends.

[subject: pick-up]  
**To: Iwa-chan**  
_> > I’m omw ^^^^_

[subject: pick-up]  
**From: Iwa-chan**  
_> > No worries, the train isn’t here yet _

Iwaizumi's reply was instantaneous; the speed at which he replied to Oikawa's messages always made him feel over the moon. Iwaizumi was otherwise terrible at looking at his phone, and when they had been in junior high, he barely even acknowledged its existence. The moment Oikawa had moved away though, he picked it up, using it like there was a never a doubt that he even had a cell phone.

“Tooru,” his mother called, stopping him before he could leave the house.

“I know, I know, be safe, don’t speed, give pedestrians the right of way,” he ticked off his mother’s usual list of concerns whenever he drove the car.

“That’s not why I’m here but I’m glad to hear you know what you’re doing,” she smiled. “I was just going to say that Hajime-kun’s train arrives a little before sunrise. Maybe you can catch it on your way back. I hear the Bihorotoge Lookout is a good spot,” she added.

Oikawa crinkled his eyebrows in thought. “That sounds really nice and all, but _why_?”

His mother laughed at his confusion. “I think it’s about time you said something to Hajime-kun, don’t you? You’ll start university in April, so the next time you see one another just might be too late,” she encouraged.

He flushed at the insinuation, releasing a small huff under his breath. As much as he and Iwaizumi danced around one another’s feelings, his mother was right. It was better to _figure it out_ than have to deal with this long separation for another who knew how long.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, giving her one last hug before leaving the house.

By the time he arrived at the train station, it was 6 am, and he still had ten minutes till Iwaizumi's train got there. The lamp posts placed around the perimeter lit up the otherwise dark train station; the bright lights were good enough to make out the station signs and people’s faces clearly.

Bihoro Station was busy even at this time of the day. With the start of the holidays officially taking off that morning, Oikawa was unsurprised to see the increase in travel. But, this wasn’t Iwaizumi's first time in Hokkaido, and they had long since figured out a system.

Oikawa stood at the farthest gate, near the vending machine where he had taken the liberty to pick up Iwaizumi's favourite drink. When the announcement for the train arriving from Sendai sounded above, he perked up. It didn’t take long for him to spot Iwaizumi's familiar face after that. 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa waved brightly, shouting over the crowd. No one paid him any mind, except for the person he was waving to. He grinned wider when he saw Iwaizumi's face break out in a smile, and he sped up to where Oikawa was standing.

“Hey,” he greeted, reaching his hand out half way, but stopping at the last minute, before he could even touch Oikawa.

Oikawa didn’t give him a chance to make it awkward. He reached out to meet Iwaizumi's hand half way, tugging him in closer before wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi's neck, encircling him in a tight hug.

“I missed you,” he said, quiet enough for only Iwaizumi to hear.

“Me too,” Iwaizumi responded easily, carding a gloved hand through Oikawa's hair.

The static from the material caused a shiver to run down his spine and he chuckled quietly before pulling back. “Come on, let’s get out of the cold,” he ushered Iwaizumi's bag out of his best friend’s hand and into his own, before placing the bottle of hot green tea into Iwaizumi's empty one.

“Where are your parents?” Iwaizumi craned his neck around the station.

“They let me pick you up by myself,” Oikawa grinned proudly.

“Lucky. Otousan still won’t let me anywhere near the car,” Iwaizumi sighed.

“Wanna drive?” Oikawa asked brightly, leading the way back to the car.

It was easy to get lost in Iwaizumi whenever he was around. Oikawa barely noticed the other people around, despite the fact that he had bumped shoulders with someone rushing past him to get to their train on more than one occasion.

“Seriously?” Iwaizumi scrunched his brows skeptically.

“Nope,” Oikawa grinned, nudging Iwaizumi's shoulder with his own.

“You’re the worst,” Iwaizumi repeated mechanically, but he was smiling and the sight made Oikawa's grin break even wider.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I’ve got something planned,” he explained. “And, if we don’t hurry, we’re going to be late,” he frowned, checking the clock displayed at the front of the station.

Iwaizumi chuckled, but didn’t protest; not even when Oikawa locked their fingers together as an excuse to _‘keep him close,’_ which they both knew wasn’t really why he had done it. But Iwaizumi didn’t pull back – like he never pulled back – and Oikawa was beginning to believe that maybe Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and his mum were right.

Whatever _this_ was needed a title before he went crazy.

The car ride was mostly filled with Iwaizumi telling Oikawa about the train ride. Oikawa didn’t know how he did it, but he always managed to sleep like a log even on those uncomfortable seats. On any other visit, Oikawa would have been the one filling the silence but between thinking about _what_ he was going to say to Iwaizumi and how to get to the Bihorotoge Lookout, his mind was occupied.

“Where are we going?” Iwaizumi asked amusedly, poking at Oikawa's cheek until he let up his ‘concentration face.’

“It’s a surprise,” he waved off, determined not to get lost in the curvy roads.

Thankfully, there were signs, but unfortunately, it was still too dark out for him to see them very well. The headlights from the car illuminated the signs briefly, and Oikawa hoped he was good enough at reading quickly not to get them lost.

“We’re watching the sunrise from the lookout, aren’t we?” Iwaizumi asked knowingly.

“That’s not fair! You can’t use your _mind reading_ to get the surprise out of me,” Oikawa complained.

“It’s not mind reading,” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “I just know you too well,” he explained, pausing slightly. Oikawa gave him a strange look, because it sounded like he wasn’t done. “Or maybe I _don’t_ know you as well as I thought I did,” he added quietly.

The excited little bubble that had wrapped itself around his heart plummeted with that one sentence. Oikawa slowed down, pulling over to a small clearing and putting the car in park before he turned to face Iwaizumi.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He couldn’t help but sound accusatory.

“Nothing, forget it,” Iwaizumi said guiltily.

Oikawa couldn’t just _forget_ _it_ , and with the way Iwaizumi was avoiding looking anywhere but in his eyes, he knew his best friend didn’t want to forget it either. Whatever he had meant had clearly been bugging him long enough that he was willing to start their holiday off on rough footing.

“That’s not fair,” Oikawa accused. “You can’t just say something like that to me and then tell me to forget it. Do you want me to feel bad about something I did? Because I won’t know until you tell me,” he glared.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily, looking out the passenger side window briefly before he turned to look at Oikawa. “Okaasan told me you got a scholarship to Chuo. Is it true?”

Whatever Oikawa had been expecting to hear, _that_ certainly wasn’t it. “I– when– I don’t–” he muttered, not knowing how to start off the topic. “Yes,” he admitted guiltily.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought you’d have been excited about that. I thought you’d have at least _mentioned_ it to me.”

Oikawa didn’t miss the hurt in his voice with the way it trembled. Iwaizumi's usually deep, soothing, _steady_ voice had turned breathy, croaky, like he was struggling with the words. Oikawa wanted to reach out, to _show him_ that it wasn’t his fault that Oikawa had chosen to keep that information a secret.

But he couldn’t – not while he had to explain it first.

“I heard that Iwa-chan wanted to go to Kyodai,” he admitted quietly.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Iwaizumi frowned. Some of the harshness in his voice had disappeared; it calmed Oikawa down a little to hear the soft tone again.

“If I go to Chuo and you go to Kyodai, we’ll still be almost four hours apart,” he explained, eyes downcast. “When I first moved here, I told you that I was worried about making new friends but the truth is, I just didn’t want to leave _you_. It’s been three years and I still miss you. I don’t care if its twelve hours or four hours. It still means I can’t see you every day,” he trembled, wiping at his eyes quickly.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi called out gently. “Hey, Tooru, listen,” he repeated, hand reaching out for Oikawa's. He tugged at gloved fingers, interlocking them with his own, pulling at his hand until Oikawa looked up at him. “I don’t want to go to Kyodai,” he confirmed. “I haven’t been telling anyone _where_ I want to go, and I guess it worried okaasan so I just threw out the name of the first university I could think of,” he explained.

“You don’t?” Oikawa asked hopefully. Iwaizumi shook his head. “Then… where do you want to go?”

Despite the fact that individual entrance exams were upon them, and the national university exam was coming up in January, neither of them had spoken about their future plans. Maybe it was a naïve avoidance tactic, and in all honesty, Oikawa knew they were better off having had this discussion earlier, but he couldn’t bear to acknowledge the truth behind the words his mother had relayed to him from Iwaizumi's mother.

“Where do _you_ want to go?” Iwaizumi asked seriously.

“You can’t just avoid the question,” Oikawa said angrily. “I asked you first.”

“Where do you want to go?” Iwaizumi repeated, as if he hadn’t just heard Oikawa's protest.

Oikawa sighed, knowing that the only person who could beat him in the stubborn department was Iwaizumi. If his best friend wanted something, he was going to get it, especially if it was something from Oikawa. Not that he abused this quality… _ever_ so the fact that he was _now_ meant that it was important Oikawa responded first.

“Fine,” he huffed out of necessity. “Chuo.”

He wasn’t given the chance to worry about how Iwaizumi would take his answer. He was met by a solid, “Me too,” before his brain could come up with a thousand possibilities in a matter of seconds about how differently this conversation could have gone.

“That’s not funny. You can’t play with my feelings like that,” Oikawa said delicately.

“Do you really think I would do that?” Iwaizumi asked seriously.

“No,” Oikawa denied immediately.

Iwaizumi would never do that. But the part of his brain that was hell bent on denying him any happiness from this moment kept coming up with reasons – ridiculous ones, but reasons all the same – that Iwaizumi would end up going anywhere _but_ Chuo.

“Good, because everything you said about missing me, I know. I felt it too, and I didn’t want to pressure you, or make you feel worse because no matter how many times you apologize, I _know_ you didn’t want to leave Miyagi,” he reassured. “I actually was going to tell you about my decision today,” he mumbled, face flushing with whatever embarrassing thought he was hiding. “I thought maybe you’d admit you were going to Chuo if I told you I already took their entrance exam,” he added.

“You took the entrance exam?” Oikawa gaped.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi admitted sheepishly.

He had known all these weeks about Oikawa's scholarship and he had done what he could to make sure they went to the same university. The fondness completely shattered Oikawa’s composure. He leaned forward, ignoring how cramped the car was and latched himself around Iwaizumi's torso, holding him tightly.

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” Oikawa whispered, wiping his tears against Iwaizumi’s coat.

“I think I do,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Hey, come on, we’re going to miss the sunrise if you keep acting like that,” he chided.

When Oikawa pulled back, he saw the forming of unshed tears in Iwaizumi's eyes too. He smiled wide and sincere at the sight, laughter bubbling out both from sheer joy and relief. Still, there was one more thing that they hadn’t yet discussed.

“Iwa-chan, why do you want to go to Chuo?” he asked hesitantly.

“What are you talking about?” Iwaizumi asked, adjusting the collar of his coat.

“I like you, you know that,” Oikawa said quickly, the words coming out in a rush of breath. “I miss you as much I do _because_ I like you. I don’t care about a scholarship to Chuo. I’ve had my Coach tell me there are other schools who are thinking about me too. Hell, I don’t even care about a scholarship if that means being as far away from you as I am now.”

“You don’t mean that,” Iwaizumi shook his head. Oikawa's face fell at the words. He had just _confessed_ and Iwaizumi _denied_ his feelings _for_ him? “I meant what you said about not caring about a scholarship. I know how hard you’ve worked for volleyball. You deserve a scholarship and I’d kill you myself if you ever thought about giving one up,” he said seriously, before Oikawa could jump to any more conclusions.

“I just told you that I _liked_ you and you threaten to kill me? What the hell?” he sighed exasperatedly.

“Why are you getting so annoyed?” Iwaizumi asked, confusion etched into his features.

“You know what, I think death sounds great right about now,” Oikawa cried. “Is this your way of rejecting me? Because if so, I feel bad for all those girls who confessed to you,” he said pointedly, pulling his hands out of Iwaizumi's grip. There was no way he could deal with all the touches and the affection if it meant _nothing_ romantically.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said seriously, reaching for Oikawa's hand again. “I know you like me, dumbass. I like you too. I mean… isn’t that what this is?” he asked hesitantly, eyes shifting down to their laced fingers.

Oikawa's mouth fell open in shock and glee. He knew he should have been more ecstatic about the fact that Iwaizumi _hadn’t_ rejected him but all he could think about was _‘does Iwa-chan think we’re already_ dating _?’_

“You never even kissed me,” he pouted.

“I didn’t know if you really wanted me to. I held your hand. You held _my_ hand. Friends don’t just do that,” Iwaizumi pointed out.

“You can’t just _assume_ that holding hands means I like you though! Who does that?” he argued for the sake of arguing, heat rushing up his face. He could practically _feel_ how red his face was, and he was grateful that Iwaizumi didn’t comment on it.

“You told me I was the only person whose attention you cared for, and then didn’t bother to do anything to prove that statement wrong. What else was I supposed to think?” he countered.

Oikawa shook his head, biting his lower lip to stop what he wasn’t sure was a laugh or a smile. Cute; Iwaizumi was _cute_ , and every word that was coming out of his mouth just made Oikawa want to squeeze his hand tighter, and maybe kiss him because he didn’t seem opposed to that idea at all.

“I meant it, you know,” he said sincerely, face melting into something akin to adoration as he searched Iwaizumi's face for any signs of a lie and found none.

Iwaizumi had always been simple. He was honest to a fault, and got around things without a hassle. Oikawa should have known better than to think that this conversation was going to go any other way. When it came to Oikawa, Iwaizumi had never been afraid to show his affection and the sentiment had only grown throughout their separation. He was straightforward in his love, and if it weren’t for the fact that Oikawa had been so afraid of losing his best friend to the passing of time and estrangement, he would have seen what they had for what it was a long time ago.

“I know,” Iwaizumi said, giving Oikawa's hand a reassuring squeeze.

He pressed their foreheads together, like he had done so many times before. But this was different; there was a solid truth behind the action this time. It made Oikawa smile, wobbly but happier than any smile he had given anyone before.

They were silent for a few moments, the only sound in the car the passing of breath between them. Oikawa could feel Iwaizumi's heartbeat through their fingertips, still pressed together. The warmth of his skin against Oikawa's own caused Oikawa to shiver until he spoke again.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” Oikawa asked hopefully.

“As far as I’m concerned, we’ve been dating since you left,” Iwaizumi smiled softly, in that way he reserved solely for him.

“That’s so weird,” Oikawa chuckled half-heartedly.

“I thought it was pretty romantic,” he grinned. “I mean, giving up my dream university for you, confessing during the sunrise, giving you these cute earmuffs I see you’re still wearing,” he listed off teasingly. 

“ _Dream university_?” Oikawa choked, quickly pushing back, face flushed from all the things Iwaizumi had just said. His fear was suppressed however, at the sound of Iwaizumi's deep chuckle. “That’s not funny, you’re the worst. And you didn’t even confess, _I_ did,” he reminded.

“Yeah, well, I kissed you first, so hah,” Iwaizumi said triumphantly. 

“No you did–” Iwaizumi cut him off, pressing their lips together in a heartbeat.

For the past three years, Oikawa had dreamed of this moment on more than one occasion, but the fantasy had nothing on the real thing itself. It was messy, clumsy, inexperienced, but it was _perfect_ because Oikawa was kissing Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi had been the one to initiate it.

He was warm, and sweet, and smelled like _home_. The thought was comforting, and it only made Oikawa wrap his hands around Iwaizumi's neck tighter, tilt his head further, and press his lips deeper into the kiss, which Iwaizumi was more than willing to reciprocate.

The sunrise was supposed to be a good mood setter, pretty and promising like their future relationship; but in that moment, it had nothing on the brightness and warmth emanating from Iwaizumi, that Oikawa was more than happy to swallow and return tenfold.

**Author's Note:**

> let me just say that the whole hand holding between friends not knowing if you're in a relationship or not is straight from experience so it _does_ happen, albeit it doesn't always work out the best but as if i was gonna give iwaoi anything but a happy ending ^^ 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated~ ♡


End file.
